Sleeping Bus: Effective & Exhausting

From Hanoi, we headed south to the countryside, spending a few days outside of Ninh Binh, a small city, at an outdoorsy little retreat at the end of a dirt road. It wasn't unlike an American summer camp, with frogs in the outdoor bathroom, hammocks, and the world's most uncomfortable bunk beds. It was a nice break from the busy city though and we were able to stop by the almost-brand-new largest pagoda in Asia as well as climb to the top of one of Vietnam's famed limestone spires. Five hundred stairs up and back down, and ten thousand golden Buddhas later, we caught a night bus to Phong Nha to do some caving at the national park.

The night bus was... well, it was something. It's slated to leave at 9:30pm-ish, or 10ish, or whenever it feels like turning up in your little podunk outpost. It was about $10 for a 9ish hour ride, as opposed to $30ish + taxi to take the train. And everyone recommends you do it at least once, despite the oft repeated horror stories of extortionist and barely-death-defying drivers.

Instead of upright seats, the bus each row seats six, in a bunk bed style: one pair against each window and one set down the middle, with a little aisle between each. The 'beds' don't lie flat, but they're at about a 40 degree incline and you can stretch your legs into the area below the person in front of you's back. Each bed has a blanket and a little leather pillow. Not the most sanitary, but not wholly uncomfortable. Big luggage goes under the bus and hand luggage stays in your lap, or in the aisle once you're in motion.

As you board, someone checks your ticket and hands you a small plastic bag place your shoes in. There's a bit of a rush to get on but Alex and I find two seats in a row, against a window and settle in. The rest of the crowds files in, hoists themselves into bunks and we set off. Easy enough.

Then chaos. 

There's a Belgian family behind us, with toddler against one window, mom in the aisle seat, preschooler at the other side, and dad behind him. The employees are setting up a bed for the kids in the aisle and yelling at dad to move them. The toddler is crying and screaming, which I think is the expected response from a 2 year old at 10pm being yelled at in a foreign language. Dad is protesting vehemently - he paid for 4 seats and his kids are damn sure going to have a seat belt for the ride.

Meanwhile, another employee is yelling at me and Alex. He's poking me in the arm, hard, and shooing us to the back... where there aren't anymore seats available anyway. He's yelling something like "Vietnamien," pointing at himself and then the seats we're in, I think trying to say these are reserved for Vietnamese travelers. The Vietnamese men next to us find the ordeal hilarious. The guy is pulling on Alex's arm, literally trying to strong arm him out of it, but Alex is adamant and firm that he's not moving. There's yelling and poking, and without other options, Alex relents and climbs into the only other open seat -- which turns out to be the crying toddler's seat, who's temporarily in mom's arms. He realizes this, apologizes to the Belgians, and plants himself back in the original seat. By the way, moving and switching of seats requires digging out your belongings, then ducking under bunks and crawling around. 

Alex sits back in his first seat and the guy turns his attention to me. I'm motioning emphatically that Alex and I are sitting together, and I catch my reflection and I look like the most confused person on earth. After more poking and not-quite-arguing, the employee finally orchestrates for two Vietnamese passengers to switch their seats - one row further back than ours - and we agree to move. He and Alex shake hands. The employee flexes and points to how strong he and Alex both are.

I still have no idea what any of it was about. The best we can figure, now, is that they try to keep the front seats open for passengers at later stops -- but we just don't know.

The Belgian family has also successfully defended their seats and the bus drops to near silence. At this point it's late, I climbed up and down a mountain that day, and I'm doped up from the anti-motion sickness pill I took. (Side note: an absolute necessity on Vietnamese roads!) With ear plugs and an eye mask, I nod off and sleep on-and-off during the trip. A full bus means fewer subsequent stops, and our bus arrives at our destination 2.5 hours early, dropping us in the center of town.

It's 4 a.m.

We walk 5 minutes to the end of town and realize we've gone the wrong way. We walk to the other end of town and find our hotel. There's no 24 hour service here. The doors are closed and locked for the night, but there's typically a sleeping employee around to let in the stragglers and drunks. We knock and an entire family files out of the staff quarters. No questions asked, they clear tables out of the lobby and unroll a sleeping mat, bring out pillows and blankets, and set us up for a much needed nap.